WARNING: this is a KakuHidan fic, which means Hidan is in it. Which means there will be cusswords. Lots of them. Dont say I didnt warn you.
Youre my snoogum bear.
Well, youre MY snoogum bear.
Kakuzu snorted in disgust at the overly mushy couple sitting on the bench about twenty yards away. He and Hidan were at the park after a long mission. Of course, Kakuzu had just wanted to go home, but NOOOO, Hidan had insisted they go on a DATE so that they could be tortured by overly-sentimental retards. Grumbling, he turned towards his partner who was staring at the same couple with an uncharacteristically thoughtful expression on his face.
Hey, dumbass. Stop staring and lets go already. Im getting sick of just sitting here. Hidan didnt respond. Hello??? Hidan??? Come ON moron, weve been here forever! Okay, so five minutes was more accurate. But it sure felt like forever to Kakuzu. When his partner still didnt answer, he sighed in annoyance and stood up, hoping his lover would follow him so they could leave. Honestly, the one time he didnt want Hidan to be silent
Hey, Kakuzu? Why dont we do that shit? Kakuzu looked to see his partner standing as well and starting walking, their steps falling in sync.
What? Hidan frowned and crossed his arms, creasing his eyebrows.
You know. That relationship-y, lovey fucking dovey shit. Kakuzu stared at his partner who was carefully avoiding his eyes. Why dont we? He asked again, in a quieter voice.
I dont know. I guess
I mean, neither of us are really
ROMANTIC types, so maybe thats why? Kakuzu was starting to wonder where the hell that question had come from, and he hoped beyond hope that Hidan wouldnt try interjecting more sweetness into their relationship. He preferred things to not be forced, thank you very much. We know we love each other anyway. He added, just to clarify that there really was no NEED for labeling each other as snoogum bears.
thats true. Hidans expression relaxed and Kakuzu inwardly congratulated himself. But
maybe we could have
I dont know
fucking nicknames or SOMETHING. Kakuzu withdrew his congratulations, but decided it would be best not to argue. If Hidan had his mind set on it, he was going to get a nickname, whether he wanted one or not.
Fine. Whats my nickname, then? Hidans expression brightened for a moment before frowning in concentration.
Kakuzu took this time to whack his partners head off.
OW! Fuck! The hell was that for, you mother fucking bastard?!?!? Hidan let out a stream of curses that would make most peoples ears bleed. Kakuzu shrugged and rolled his eyes as he slung Hidans body over his shoulder and picked up his head.
Ow! Bastard, sew my head back on!
We dont have time to stop, we wasted it all at the stupid park.
When I fucking get home, you better believe Im going to sacrifice you, dipshit. Kakuzu sighed in exasperation.
Fine. Whatever. Will you shut up now? Hidans scowl deepened.
No. I havent come up with your fucking nickname yet. Kakuzu mentally slapped himself in the face. How about
Doesnt sound very endearing.
Yeah, well, neither are you. Kakuzu smiled slightly, amused.
Never said I was. But yeah, you should try again. Hidan rolled his eyes, but still thought for a moment before responding.
Sounds like a dogs name.
fuck. Ok then, what about Bounty?
I think I saw that on a boat once.
whered that come from?
Thats how many hearts you have, right? Five?
Oh. I hate Spanish.
Sounds too much like cock.
Well, dammit, you sure are ACTING like a dick! Hidan shouted in frustration. Why the hell do you keep turning all of these down???
Maybe its cause they all suck
? Hidan scowled darkly.
Fuck you, Kuzu. There was a moment of silence before his expression cleared.
Hey! Fucker, thats it! How about Kuzu??? Kakuzu thought it over for a moment. It was a little cute, yes, but then, only Hidan would call him that. And it was close enough to his original name, and best of all, it wasnt something stupid like stitches.
Alright. You can call me Kuzu. But you ONLY, got it? Hidan grinned in delight.
Of course! Kuzu, you have NO IDEA how awesome this is! Kakuzu grinned slightly at his partners enthusiasm. Really, Hidan was just too cute. When he wasnt being really creepy, that is.
whats my nickname Kuzu? Kakuzu gave a start and looked down at his partners head.
You want me to give you one? He asked. Hidan nodded, blushing ever so slightly.
Yeah. If thats okay
Dont worry, I know the perfect name for you. Hidan beamed in excitement.
REALLY?!? What is it?!?
GO TO HELL, BASTARD!