Deidara's issues- sasodei

Deidara smiled as he pushed the needle into his vein. He’d forgotten how long it had been since his “addiction”  had started, but he knew that he loved the fact that it left him dizzy and able to forget...forget what  exactly? Deidara paused in withdrawing the needle and frowned slightly. Odd, he couldn’t even remember why he’d started this.  

Sasori.

Oh, yes. The puppet master. Deidara remembered the time he’d told Sasori about his feelings, about 4 months ago. He’d been nervous as hell and had no idea how Sasori was going to take it. Sasori had just looked at him blankly until he began to fidget with his discomfort and embarassment. The he’d uttered a lifeless “oh”, and returned to making his puppets. Yes, Deidara had poured his soul out to the puppet master, and all he’d gotten was ‘oh’.

Sobbing slightly, Deidara refilled the syringe and stuck his arm again. He’d been getting to used to it, if he wasn’t halucinating yet. Maybe he really should start cutting back, just so the effects would last longer….

Deidara froze as Sasori entered the room. The puppet master had his head down, clearly lost in thought. He didn’t even notice Deidara or the needle until he looked up and froze as well, a look of astonishment on his face that quickly changed to outrage. Sasori racked his mind as he took in the scene. He couldn’t think of any reason why Deidara, of all people would be shooting up. The brat was about as cheerful as they come, as far as he knew. Ignoring the rush of emotions he was feeling Sasori turned to speak.

“Why?” Deidara shuddered at his emotionless tone, it was like the calm before the storm. He knew he had to do something fast, before Sasori….what would he do anyway? Wait…what? Argh! Stupid drug’s clouding my mind! Deidara shook his head roughly while Sasori waited patiently for an answer. Finally Deidara spoke.

“Because it takes away the pain…un” He added the ‘un’ halfheartedly. Sasori raised his eyebrow as he calmly approached the blonde and sat beside him on the floor.

“Pain from what?” Deidara looked down as he felt himself blush. Of course, Sasori-danna has probably forgotten about it, he thought bitterly.

“Just…pain un. Normal stuff…you know Sasori-danna un?”

“Deidara, there is nothing normal about sticking yourself with hallocengens, and the fact that you aren’t hallucinating yet means you’ve done it quite often. Now tell me why.” Sasori felt his temper rising. How could Deidara be so stupid? Sasori didn’t really know why, but he felt more upset now than he ever had, even when he’d been human. Sasori remembered the happiness he’d felt when Deidara had confessed his love, but he also remembered the sinking feeling he’d gotten from the knowledge that they simply could not be. He loved Deidara, he really did, but…well, he was a puppet after all. That’s when the truth hit him. Sasori’s eyes widened as he gaped at his partner, who cringed.

“You…you’ve been doing this since you told me you loved me…haven’t you?” Deidara nodded dumbly, his head bent, eyes cast downward. Maybe if he didn’t look up, Sasori wouldn’t kill him. Sasori sighed.

“Oh, Dei…” Deidara looked up, confused and slightly hopeful. Sasori had never called him a nickname before! “Deidara I…you know, I’m losing my humanity right? I mean…just the other day, my stomach stopped working. You saw me remove it…and, eventually I won’t even be able to feel at all…I’m just not…suitable for you.” Deidara stared. So it wasn’t that Sasori didn’t like him…so much as it was the fact that he thought Deidara deserved better. Deidara smiled slightly.

“But Sasori-danna…I, I really like you, you know? I mean, I don’t care about all that crap, un!” Sasori stared, racking his brain for another reason why he and the blonde could not be.

“I’m fifty six.” Deidara’s jaw dropped. He’d known Sasori was older than he looked but…damn! Fifty six was…wow.

“S-so?” Deidara tried to reason calmly, the fact that Sasori was so much older really didn’t bother him that much.  Sasori didn’t respond.

“Please…please Danna, un. If…if you really like me…please, just…I mean I don’t care! I really don’t! So please! Please let me be with you un!”

Sasori frowned slightly, this was not at all how he’d wanted this conversation to grow. Finally he sighed.

“Fine…as long as you stop with the drugs.”

Deidara nodded vigoursly and glomped him.

“Thank you so much Danna, un!”

“You…you’re welcome, Deidara.”