Bonding part 4- a KisaIta

“Itachi? Are you listening to me?”

Itachi blinked slowly, turning his head upwards to meet the disgruntled eyes of Pein. Some of the other Akatsuki snickered around him as he tried to collect his thoughts, and not appear too much like a schoolboy caught daydreaming.

“Hn.” Sometimes it paid for people to not expect a response.
  
“Alright then. It just looked like you were tuning me out.”

“Hn.”

“Guess I was just imagining things. I’ll continue then.”

“Hn.”

Pein turned his back on the Uchiha and Itachi went back to his thoughts.

Alright, so it’s been about a week since I decided Kisame would become my boyfriend. In that time I’ve learned absolutely NONE of the things I wanted to about him. I have however, convinced him that I have a mental disorder, and possibly that I’m bipolar. Good job, Itachi. That’s the way to any man’s heart. The prodigy resisted the urge to slam his head on the table in frustration. This would take a while.

“Itachi! I know you weren’t listening to me that time!” Said man jerked his head up once more to survey his pissed off leader. He knew “hn” wouldn’t cut it this time.

“Yes I was.” There was a brief moment where both sets of eyes bored into the other, before Pein said in a resigned voice.

“Fine. Then tell me what I just said.” Itachi rolled his eyes, this was too easy.

“The same thing you say at every meeting. You want Deidara to stop blowing up the garbage disposal when he does the dishes, Hidan and Kakuzu need to stop fucking in the living room, Zetsu can’t eat any more mailmen, and you’re sick of me not paying attention when you talk.”The Konoha nin finished smugly crossing his arms. A vein twitched in Pein’s temple.

“Yes, and you STILL HAVEN’T DONE THAT!! Why is it that every fucking time we have a meeting, you’re staring off into space??”

Because I’m thinking about Kisame…

“Hn.”

“And stop saying that! Everyone hates it when you do that!! Why can’t you just talk to other people!? Even your own partner can’t stand it!!”

Itachi’s eyes widened slightly and locked with Kisame’s, who was sitting across from him. He stared at the shark intensely, trying to decipher the truth from his partner’s gaze. Kisame averted his eyes.

Itachi’s heart stopped for a moment, then-

“Sir Leader? That’s…not necessarily true.”

Kisame scratched the back of his neck nervously as everyone turned to stare at him.

“I mean…it’s not that it doesn’t…annoy me sometimes, but I can…you know, stand it.”

It was taking all of the Uchiha’s willpower not to smile.

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“Hey ItachiI! Over here, un!”

Don’t look Itachi…just pretend you didn’t hear anything. Whatever you do, don’t look…

“I have dango, un!”

“Where??”

Nice one, Uchiha.

Deidara grinned coyly, slowly shaking his head.  “I’ll give it to you, but you have to tell me something first, un.”

“Fine. I’ll tell you anything-”

“How do you feel about Kisame?”

“Except that.” Itachi turned to leave once more, but his movement was interrupted when his hand was grabbed by the Iwa nin’s.  The weasel breathed deeply, and turned to inform the blonde in a tone as polite as he possibly could make it, that he’d prefer him not to grab his arm.

“Deidara…you have two seconds to let go of my hand before I kill you in the most brutal way imaginable.”

…Well, he tried at least.

“Alright, I will, un. Just let me try something first.”

“Wha-”

Itachi was cut off by a pair of lips gently pressing against his own. There was a brief moment in which the Uchiha desperately hoped this was a bad dream and he would wake up any moment. However, when he didn’t, he was forced to accept that this was reality. Deidara was kissing him.

That was a problem.

“Get the hell off me!” The genjutsu user pushed the blonde away forcefully, glaring with all his might and trying to make sense of what had just happened. He was immensely surprised to see Deidara laughing, looking very proud of himself.

“I knew it, un! You do like Kisame!”

Itachi blinked twice, his mind trying to find the connection.

“Because…I didn’t want you to kiss me?”

Deidara nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! That obviously means you like someone else, un!”  Itachi shook his head in bewilderment.

“Or it could mean I just don’t like you.”

Deidara shook his head with a pitying expression on his face. “Itachi,” he began, in the gentle tone you use to tell a small child he’d tied his shoes incorrectly. “Everyone wants to kiss me, un. The only way you wouldn’t is if you had someone else. Right, Pein?”

Itachi whipped around. Sure enough, Pein was behind him, looking frantically under the couch.

“Can’t talk, Deidara. Looking for Konan.” Itachi noted with mild amusement that his leader sounded fairly panicked.

Serves him right for being such an ass earlier. But still, I probably should let Konan out soon…she’s probably getting hungry…

Deidara rolled his eyes. Pein turned to the two of them with a pleading look on his face.

“You haven’t seen her, have you?” Itachi shuffled slightly in discomfort and figured now would be a good time to leave.

“Hn.” He left the two of them to look for the blue haired woman in peace.

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“Hey Itachi? Deidara asked me something….interesting the other day.”
The Uchiha glanced up over the kunai he was sharpening to his partner who was standing in front of him, determinedly staring at the ground. From the obvious discomfort the shark appeared to be feeling, he could guess what this was about.

“Hn?” He asked, feigning a deep lack of concern. Kisame shuffled slightly.

“Yeah, he seemed to think we were…dating.” Itachi’s eyes narrowed slightly in thought.

“I…see.” He said carefully. Kisame looked up from the floor frantically.

“But, but I told him that we weren’t! So…he knows now that we don’t like eachother.” Kisame watched Itachi carefully, but he could detect no change in emotion. He took a deep breath and decided to go for it. “That is…you don’t like me. Right?”

“No.” The Uchiha replied tonelessly, his eyes boring into the shark’s and leaving no doubt that this was the truth. Kisame sighed in what was disappointment, but the Uchiha mistook it as relief. The thought that Kisame didn’t want him to love him hurt more than anything.

“What about you? You don’t have feelings for me, correct?” Itachi asked quietly. Kisame flushed slightly, looking off to the side.

“No. Of course not.”

Of course not….

“Alright then. It’s all good.”

“Yes.” Both partners nodded to each other before Itachi turned back to his kunai and Kisame left the room, each thinking the same depressing thought.

He’ll never feel the same.