1. Get him an eyebrow waxing kit

2. Go on and on about how awesome Neji is

3. Make sexual references to his “hidden lotus”

4. Ask if the Primary Lotus attack is just an excuse to grope people

5. Don’t believe him when he denies it

6. Tell him Sakura has agreed to marry Sasuke

7. Steal his jumpsuit (note: he probably has extras in his closet, so steal those too)

8. Tie him up so he can’t escape

9. Eat curry in front of him (while he’s tied up)

10. Glomp him, then tell him you prefer Neji

11. Sing “Gai and Lee sitting in a tree…”

12. Ask why he doesn’t just admit his love for Gai already, since everyone else already knows

13. Lock Gai in the closet

14. Taunt Lee that he’ll NEVER find him

15. Play Gaara vs Lee over and over and over…

16. When he mentions Gai, put your hand on his shoulder comfortingly and say “He raped you, didn’t he?”

17. Whenever he walks into a room play “Kung Fu Fighting”

18. Whenever he walks into a room play “Dancing Queen”

19. Hire Stacy and Clinton from What Not to Wear to come see him

20. Ask if he cuts himself under the bandages on his arms

21. If he denies it, ask where the hell all those scars came from then

22. When he tells you it’s from training, respond that you don’t need to train to commit suicide

23. Show a video of him being drunk at an Alcohol Awareness convention

24. Sign him up for Alcoholics Anonymous

25. Ask if he can really see past those eyebrows

26. Tell him Gai died

27. Tell him TenTen is pregnant with his child

28. Tell him Sakura is pregnant with SASUKE’S child

29. Make sexual references to “Dynamic Entry”

30. Laugh whenever he tries to say something

31. Knock him out with his weights

32. Ask why the hell he cries so much

33. Drug him with tranquilizers

34. Give him a Mohawk in his sleep

35. Sign him up for a toothpaste commercial

36. Show him GaiXLee

37. Show him LeeXGaara

38. Put explicit doujinshi involving him and Gai on posters

39. Hang them around town

40. And on the Hokage monument

41. Tell him Neji did it

42. Tell him green is SOOOO last year

43. Lock him in a room with Naruto

44. Ask why he has the Beatle’s haircut

45. Get him those round pink glasses that hippies wear

46. Tell him they’re from Gai

47. Ask why, in the brief fight with Deidara, his WHOLE TEAM couldn’t take down one man…WITHOUT ARMS

48. Tell him you have erotic dreams about him, then walk away

49. Tell him NEJI has erotic dreams about him

50. Ask what’s so great about youth anyway