1. Tell him Sasori loves him

2. Ask if it’s fun to be Uke

3. Take his clay

4. Replace it with Play-Doh

5. Steal his eye-scope

6. Paint it pink

7. Show him SasoDei

8. Show him ItaDei

9. Wink and tell him you know of a “good use” for the mouths on his hands

10. Say “un” at the end of your sentences to mock him

11. Run around yelling “I win! My art wins!” (he says this TWICE in his battle with Sasuke)

12. Ask if he’s depressed

13. Compare him to Iraqi suicide bombers

14. Tell him his sculptures suck

15. Steal Itachi’s mascara and put it in his room

16. Inform him that black nail polish is soooo last year

17. Offer him speech therapy

18. Tell him Gaara has a crush on him

19. Go up to him and say “Excuse me miss, but I-oh! Hey Deidara!”

20. Keep emphasizing how EASILY Itachi beat him

21. Side with Sasori in all of their arguments

22. Call him Dei-chan

23. Tell him art is boring

24. Every time he says “art is a bang”, yell “NO IT’S NOT!”

25. Tell him you saw his shirt at Limited Too

26. Set fangirls on him

27. When he walks into a room, play “Boom Boom”

28. When he walks into a room play “Dude Looks Like a Lady”

29. When he walks into a room play “Barbie Girl”

30. Volunteer him to be a porn star

31. Ask about his past (I’m assuming it’s tragic)

32. Tell him he has his wedding ring on the wrong finger

33. Print a bunch of X-rated SasoDei pics

34. Show them to everyone

35. Say you got them from Tobi

36. Steal some of his sculptures

37. Detonate them under his pillow at night

38. Dye his hair pink

39. Blame it on Sasori

40. Tell people you’re pregnant with his kid

41. Tell people he’s your bitch

42. If he protests, cry

43. Knock on his door when he’s asleep

44. When he asks why you’re there, say you just wanted to see if he’d answer it

45. Hug him constantly

46. Volunteer him to be a spokesperson at the Rape Victim Center

47. Cut off his hair to donate to cancer patients

48. Steal all his ponytail ties

49. Comment on everything he does

50. Get him a giftcard for Macy’s